Beauty Treatments

I have come before the King dressed in filthy rags. I have believed the lies spoken over me, come into agreement with them, and sinned by doing so.. I took those lies and made them my idols. I bowed down in submission to them and put them in a place of high honor over me. I believed and worshipped things that were false. I made myself captive to those false things. I worshipped gods other than the God who loves and created me. I believed the "gods" who said I was of no value or worth, that I would never amount to anything; the ones that told me I didn't matter, that I was stupid, unworthy, and incapable of doing anything right. The ones that said I would be better off dead than alive. My heart hurt. It hurt too much to bear anymore pain. And, so, I began building a fortress around my heart to keep the invading enemy of pain away. I became afraid of pain. Afraid to get "too close". Afraid of intimacy. Afraid my heart would be broken and crushed and torn into a million little pieces and blown away like chaff in the wind till there was nothing left.

I didn't realize when I began worshipping my idols and building my fortress that they were built and founded on something that was false. They were founded on lies from the Father of Lies. And I came into agreement with them. I was too young and naive to be able to differentiate between lies and truth. I didn't know they were lies. I thought they were truth. I was deceived. Lied to. My garments became filthy with the lies I believed and the sin that resulted. I wore those filthy rags everywhere. When I was hungry I ate ashes and drank my own tears.

But now my King and Redeemer has come. He has come to rescue me. To release me from captivity. He's here to destroy the idols that were created to look so much like me. He's here to break down the gates, destroy the fortress, and expose the foundation of lies it was built on. He's here to whisper truth in my ears. He comes with rich garments in order to exchange them for my filthy, old rags. He comes with oil of myrrh, perfumes, and cosmetics -- beauty treatments that will make me beautiful, captivating, and pleasing to Him. Beauty treatments that will wash away the filth and make me as a sweet-smelling perfume.

What are these beauty treatments? They are those things that God, my King, and Jesus, my Redeemer, speak over me. They are truth. These truths will make me beautiful, captivating, and pleasing to them as I soak myself in them and let them permeate my being. God's truths spoken over me are what give me worth.

Listen! He invites me to come and dine with Him. To sit at His Banquet Table and feast on meat, new wine, the Bread of Life; on sweet and tasty things. He invites me to experience all He has to offer. And look! There is His banner over me!

Come, lets get started.

Fuel

Yesterday I read Proverbs 25:23..."As a north wind brings rain, so a sly tongue brings angry looks".

There's someone I know who often gives me angry looks. When I read that it caused me to pause and think about it...I'm not a walking Webster's dictionary and I wasn't really sure what "sly" meant, other than it seemed to refer to something devious. I don't feel devious. I didn't think I was devious...but since I often get angry looks from this person and because God's Word said it, I figured maybe I really was devious and had a tongue that was so sly, that even I didn't recognize it.

This morning when I woke up the Holy Spirit was there to meet me with a word of revelation: "You hold onto the past in order to use it as fuel for the future". This person, as well as a deceased family member, has caused me tremendous hurts. I have always felt as though I have forgiven them, but this new revelation allowed me to see that I'm still clutching some of the hurt close to my heart and it must reflect in my speech and in my attitudes. Holding onto those hurts, whether I realized I was doing it or not, served to fuel offense in the future. I was perpetuating the fire of my own hurts. Just as a fire requires fuel to burn, past hurts were fueling future ones.

In order to break the cycle of angry looks and, hopefully, the angry feelings behind the looks, I need to cast aside the past hurts and not cling to the fuel that will serve to burn me in the future.

God's Protection

On the night of November 20th, I was taking a country road home. The road was full of twists and turns, hills, fields, and open country. I was returning from hearing a guest speaker at a church about 40 minutes from our house. Few other people were out that night.

As I drove, I was telling God how awesome I thought He was and singing songs of praise. A thought popped into my head that said, "Slow down". Looking at my speedometer, I saw I was going 5 to 10 MPH over the speed limit. I wondered if this was God guiding me or my own thought. Since no one was with me and no one else seemed to be on the road, I decided it wouldn't hurt to be obedient and slowed down. Then came, "More". I slowed to 35 MPH. At the top of the hill where I had been traveling, there was a blind curve to the right. Just as I rounded the curve, three deer crossed the road in front of me! Had I been traveling any faster, those three deer would have been history and so would I. I knew that God had protected me and was so incredibly thankful.

But that's not all...Just a few minutes down the road I heard, "Do it again". Down to 35 MPH again. The road now had steep hills on either side of it. On my left up ahead, a deer, larger than the other three, crossed the road in front of me, and struggled to make it up the opposite side. Even more gratefullness and tremendous joy at what God had just done!

But now, three days later, with it comes the realization..."Who am I, Lord, that you are mindful of me"? And I feel humbled...

Jesus Greater Than Moses

This morning my Bible was laying open to the pages that contain Hebrews 3. So I decided to read it. The subtitle is "Jesus Greater Than Moses". My thoughts went to Moses. I wanted to get a better understanding of Moses in order to better understand the Greater-ness of Jesus. I was also hoping to get a better understanding of the person God wants me to be.

"Moses was faithful as a servant in all God's house...". Moses was known as the most humble man on earth. He must have considered others as better than himself and known that God certainly was. I wonder if that humbleness was there before God met him at that burning bush in the wilderness? Or did it come after that meeting? Did something of that fire from the bush transfer to Moses and give him a burning desire to be a servant to God alone? To wait upon God, be attentive to His needs, and then follow through and be obedient to Him?

Is it possible for me to be like that?? Faithful? Humble? A servant to God? Is it even possible for me to have a relationship with God like Moses did? I don't know, but I want so much to try. I know God doesn't call me to be like Moses...He wants me to set my sight on Jesus and be like Him. Maybe I just need to work at being obedient.

Like Peter

October was a devastating month. If you've read my previous blogs, you'll know why... The real kicker, the straw that broke this camel's back, was the announcement in church that a dear little, five-year old boy we'd all been praying for, died from complications of the Swine Flu. It was too much hurt. My heart felt torn in a million little pieces for all that was lost and I became very angry at God. I didn't get it. Not one bit. It didn't make any sense to me, especially when Kyree, the five year old, died.

Then someone must have prayed...

I came across something in a book that has helped a little bit. It's something I need to grasp and not let go of...The author was talking about the struggle between self- and Christ-centered living. He used the story of Peter in Matthew 16. Peter had just confessed that Jesus was the Messiah, the Son of the Living God, and Jesus blessed him for his confession. In the next moment, Jesus announced the suffering and death that awaited Him in Jerusalem. Peter took Jesus aside and rebuked Him, saying "God forbid it Lord! This shall never happen to you."...

Peter didn't get it either... Either he didn't think it would happen, didn't think it could happen to the Son of the Living God. or he was asking Jesus to make it somehow NOT happen. And Jesus rebuked Peter for it. Rather, Jesus identified and rebuked Satan as the source of the comment. Satan's aim is to promote self-interest and self-service rather than the things of God. If Jesus had succumbed to his own self-preservation, where would we be now?

I'm like Peter...I don't get why those deaths and accidents had to happen, but I know now that God has a plan bigger than what I can comprehend. I also realize that, like Peter, I have operated in a self-centered way of living, rather than a Christ-centered way of living. I don't want to be like Peter any more. I don't want to sell out to Satan because being a Christ-follower is too painful. I don't want to serve Satan by serving self. I no longer want to be deceived.

Shaken

My mother-in-law is dead. Another friend has died and his wife is trying to cope and pick up the pieces of her life. Another young man lays broken in the hospital in an induced coma after being hit by a drunk driver. A five year old boy in the hospital struggles to breathe as the doctors and nurses fight in the physical realm for his life and a group of prayer warriors contend for him in the spiritual realm. We contend as well for the life and body of our friend hit by the drunk driver.

This has been a week of shaking. Not just for me, but for a lot of people. The shaking has been a physical and emotional one, but I, personally, also feel a spiritual shaking. I can't quite put a finger on what has been spiritually shaken loose, but something was present within me that I could feel physically. I knew that whatever it was, it stood as a barrier between me and God. God has shaken it loose and it is no longer there and I am no longer the same person I was last week or even a few days ago.

God is up to something.

"Here I Am"

Sometimes God uses everyday moments to speak to us. Such was the case for me last night after our church service. In our church there is a shared wall between the church's lobby and the sanctuary. In that wall there is a dark-colored window. If you are in the sanctuary, you can see what's going on out in the lobby; but, if you are in the lobby, you can't easily see what's going on in the sanctuary. It's similar to a two-way mirror, except there is no mirror.

Last night after the service, my (almost) five year old grandson was standing on a chair in the sanctuary, looking through the glass at his dad, our son; step-mom, Teresa; and his baby sister. He was knocking on the glass and calling out, "Daddy! Teresa! Here I am!" He didn't understand that they didn't know he was there. From where they were, they couldn't see or hear him. Something caught at my heart and I had to go to them to let them know that Gabe was there, on the other side of the glass window, trying to get their attention. In the few seconds it took me to get out to the lobby, my son, daughter-in-law, and granddaughter were walking away from the window where Gabe could see them. Because Gabe could no longer see them, he came out behind me into the lobby. He wanted to be with his family.

God took that moment to show me something...God also stands in a place where He can see us, but we don't always know He's there. He knocks and knocks and calls us by name because He wants us to know that He is there. And God WANTS something to catch in our hearts so that we are moved to go tell those that don't know He's there that He is; that He wants their attention. He wants us to look and see Him. He desires to be with us because He loves us. And, if we can't see or hear Him, sometimes He comes to us.

"I'm Not Done Yet"

Many of you who know me, also know that my mother-in-law is dying. My husband, an only child, got a phone call from his cousin day before yesterday saying he should come NOW! He flew out this morning in order to try to be with his mom before she passed away.

As I was sitting at the breakfast table yesterday morning contemplating all of this new information, my brain went into a tailspin. I was thinking about what I would need to do in order to get my husband to the airport; get tickets for myself and our kids for a later flight; all the last minute things you need to do when something like this happens; all the wonderful things I loved about this woman who was a mom to me, a friend, a confidante, an encourager, a teacher, and so much more...when the Holy Spirit broke into my thoughts and said, "I'm not done yet". As usual, my response was, "What (as in, "Is that you, God")"? Again, I heard, "I'm not done yet".

I'm not exactly sure yet what that means, but I will take God at His word. When we feel as though our prayers have not been answered, God is not done yet. When we have done all that we can do, God is not done yet. When the outcome seems inevitable, God is not done yet. When we have given up on someone, God is not done yet. When our situation seems hopeless, God is not done yet. When we have no hope left, God is not done yet. When death is near, God is not done yet. GOD IS NOT DONE YET.

Immanuel

As I was laying in bed this morning, trying not to wake my husband, my heart became suddenly very heavy. It was very heavy for friends who are battling the husband's Stage IV cancer. They're both so weary from fighting the good fight. The husband wants so much to be well and serve the Lord. His wife is doing everything she can to find her husband the help he needs. Both are exhausted through and through and neither is willing to give up. They both so badly need Jesus to lift this yoke from off their shoulders and carry their burdens for them; to heal them.

My heart was heavy for a daughter who has wounds so deep inside that no one seems able to touch them. Wounds that are not physical, but are still there nonetheless and are killing her. Wounds that only Jesus can touch and heal.

My heart was heavy for a mother-in-law fighting for her own life, who has health issues that are causing physical wounds that will not heal. The doctors say there is nothing more that they can do and that she will die. She, too, needs a miracle from God.

My heart was heavy for a world that is crying out. A world that is lost and dying and doesn't know which way to turn. A world that turns their back on Jesus because they believe the notion of God is "ridiculous".

All of them (all of us) need Jesus. Immanuel. God with us. God in the room with us. God right beside us. God in us. God to touch us. God to comfort us. God to guide us. God to heal us. God to love us. Life.

What Would Happen If...

I've been reading a great book called "Living Water" by Brother Yun. It's taking me a longer time than usual to read this book. Life has caused interruptions, but I also have been putting the book down in order to consider the words I have just read. This evening I have put the book down a few times already because God is shaking things up inside of me. One such session brought tears of repentance for something God brought to my attention that I had not even considered before.

The latest chapter is "Hearing God's Voice". Brother Yun says, "In Jesus, I have a simple theology. I believe God speaks to His children all the time. We just need to listen and obey. When we start to obey His voice, we see God's power and authority in us and operating through us." He later talks about Augustine, who would read the Gospels in the morning and then go out in the afternoon and put into action what he had just read! When he read about the rich young ruler, he went and gave his possessions to the poor. When he read about Jesus washing the feet of His disciples, he washed the feet of his brothers in Christ!

I don't know what happened when Augustine did this, but this seems so simple...One of those "Duh! Why didn't I think of that?" moments. What would happen if I became quiet before God on a daily basis just so I could see and hear what He had to say in His Word? What would happen if I went out on a daily basis and purposefully did what I had read about Jesus doing? What would happen if a bunch of us would do that?? I want to challenge myself to do this. I want to see what God will do.

Are You Willing?

Several weeks ago I was getting dressed for work, when out of the blue I heard in my spirit, "Are you willing to give up EVERYTHING?" It stopped me dead in my tracks...It was a serious question that deserved serious thought and one that was not to be answered quickly.

My first thought was "Give up everything for WHAT?!" I knew, without hearing an answer, that I was being asked if I would be willing to give up everything for Jesus.

That's a very heavy question! Would I be willing to give up my job? Would I be willing to give up my husband, or my kids, or even my precious grandkids? Would I be willing to give up my house? Would I be willing to give up my church and all my church family? My friends? Would I be willing to give up my brother and sisters and their families? Would I be willing to give up wrong thoughts and attitudes that don't line up with the way God wants to do things? Would I be willing to give up my own selfish desires? Would I be willing to give up my health? My arms or my legs? My sight or my hearing? Would I be willing to give up my very life for Jesus' sake?

After spending a tremendous amount of time thinking about this question, I came to the conclusion that I came into this world with nothing and will leave with nothing. Anything and everything I have, right here and right now, is only through the grace of God. Jesus gave up everything for me, shouldn't I also be willing to do the same for Him? Jesus died to self. Am I willing to die to self as well? Dead people don't care about such things. Yes, God, I guess I AM willing to give up everything, if I have to... as long as I don't have to give up You. Please tell me I don't have to give up You.

Naked On A Cross

God recently placed in my heart that Jesus was the first partaker of what he taught. Jesus could not teach what He did without fully understanding and grasping what He taught others to do.

The other day I was reading Matthew 6:25-34. Jesus was talking about not worrying about your life...about what you wore or about what you ate...The thought came to me that all of this (the words Jesus just spoke in this passage) were from a man who was going to die naked on a cross...Did He know He was going to have to die naked on a cross?? Did He get, in advance, that clothes weren't important because there are more important things to be clothed in? Like being clothed in humility, which I am sure He was clothed in, as He hung there naked for all the world to see? Like being clothed in righteousness or in purity (What else are we to be clothed in??)?

Somehow I believe Jesus fully grasped what was to come. He knew that there were things of far greater importance than the clothes He would be stripped of. Things far more important than being naked on a cross for all the world to see. Something that was far greater to Him and to His Father...US! We are what it was worth for Jesus to die naked on a cross, clothed in humility, in order that we might be presented unto the Father, free from sin and dressed as Jesus' Bride, resplendant in rainment that He has picked out for us. Which makes me wonder...What will I be clothed in?

Dangerous Little Prayer

My pastor has what he calls "a dangerous little prayer". It's a prayer where you ask God something and then He answers. In bigger and sometimes scarier ways than you anticipated.

At the beginning of September, I prayed what turned out to be one of those "dangerous little prayers". I had been going over on-line notes from a recent sermon that I had missed and realized that even though I love God, I had no idea who I was in Christ or who God wanted me to be (what my purpose is). My dangerous little prayer was to ask God, "Show me who I am and who you want me to be." I wasn't prepared for the results.

Over two or three days, God began to show me exactly who I was...And it wasn't pretty. He showed me times over the week or so before where I had been prideful, boastful, fudged on the truth, etc. He showed me tendencies I have: the tendency I have to be negative; to think the worst about myself; to despair easily; to become depressed; to have critical, judgemental thoughts at times, even though that's not something I want, they just sometimes pop into my head; He showed me where I had taken the "easy way out" because I thought it would be more comfortable, when in truth, the "easy way out" is often not comfortable at all. The "easy way out" is sometimes (and maybe even often times) the spiritually corrupt way out. The wrong way out. "Easy" does not always equate with what's "right" in God's eyes.

As God was showing me these things, I didn't feel condemned in any way. It was just God showing me who I was. He was doing exactly what I had asked. I wasn't prepared for who I really was....Before I had a chance to be me and respond in despair, it was as though God spiritually took me by the shoulders and turned me around and showed me Himself standing not too far off, with one of His arms around Jesus' shoulder and the other hand resting on Jesus' other shoulder. God was showing me Jesus...His Beloved Son. He was showing me that He wanted me to be like Jesus. That, as much as I am able, that is who He wants me to be. Like Jesus.

God also gave me new revelation of a passage of scripture that I hadn't really grasped before: First Corinthians 9: 24-25: "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever." Before, I always thought that the prize in this passage was "getting to heaven" and part of running the race were the things I "had to do" along the way. Well...the prize for which I run isn't heaven, per se, it's Jesus. Jesus is the prize I am to run for. The prize I am to strive for and gain is Jesus.

Jesus, help me to run hard after you and not give up. I want to get closer to You all the time. I want to see you more clearly the closer I get. I want, more than anything, for You to be my Prize.

No Accident

Sometimes accidents are no accident.

The last couple of weeks have been full of soul-searching, questions, no adequate answers, spiritual restlessness, and a battle with depression.

Fast forward to yesterday...As I drove through an intersection on my way home from work, a vehicle ran a red light and ran into the driver's side of my car. It's amazing how time seemed to slow down and how many thoughts ran through my head...In real time, I noticed the vehicle just before it impacted the side of my car. In the slowed down version of time, I remember thinking, "There's a vehicle in the intersection"; "Did I miss my light turning red?"; actually taking a quick look-back in my rearview mirror to check the light, only to see it was still green; and then the realization, "I'm going to get hit"...

This morning during my quiet time with God, I was contemplating the accident and the last couple of weeks' spiritual battle with depression, when something else hit me...God brought my attention to the name of the person who collided with me...I smiled...God caused "Joy" to impact me. Even her last name, which I won't mention, seemed to speak to the never-ending supply of joy that God wants to give.

Thanks for the wake-up call, God. And for the accident that I'm not so sure was an accident.

Fasting Speech

I lack gracious lips. Without meaning to do so, and without hearing myself do it at the time, I criticize and am judgemental.

So, last evening, I decided, as much as is possible, to fast speech and pray for lips of grace. I want to listen to what other people are saying and to note how they are gracious with their words. I guess I'm as much fasting and praying for ears to hear as I am for lips that are gracious. When I do break my fast, I want to be able to carefully weigh what I say before the words cross my lips. I'm praying that God will give me ears to hear and that I won't need to be silent for the rest of my life.

Being completely speech-free is impossible in my field of work. At home, it seems much easier.

Here are some things I've observed and learned today:

1) My thoughts do tend to be critical and judgemental at times. It would follow that my speech is as well, even though I hadn't realized it.
2) My heart breaks when I hear others do the same. What must God think of us?
3) People lash out in bitterness and anger when they don't understand the reason for your silence (sorry if that sounds critical or judgemental, but it has been my experience today).
4) Keeping silent creates a burden all its own. God gave us speech in order to help us release what's inside of us, but there's POWER in our words. Power to build up or power to tear down. Power to create or power to destroy from the inside out. Power to diffuse or power to ignite.
5) Speech helps us to bear one another's burdens.
6) Speech connects us to one another.
7) On my own, I have no idea how to have grace or operate in it...How will I ever be able to think and speak graciously unless God fills me with His very own Grace??? Father, I need Your Grace. I can't do it on my own.

The Power of Brokenness

WOW! Reading a powerful book by Don Nori that I borrowed from Harvest Chapel's lending library called "The Power of Brokenness".

As I started to read it, its truths touched someplace deep inside, and all I could do was cry, as God began revealing things to me that I can't fully put into words yet. Something inside me breaks each time I sit down to read this book and I don't think I want to leave that place of brokenness because it (can I say this??) feels good to be broken when I know it's God doing the breaking. I have no idea where God is taking me with this (nor do I care). All I know is that I want to follow.

Isaiah 4:4

God led me to an odd verse the other day, Isaiah 4:4, which in part says "The Lord will wash away the filth of the women of Zion...".

Filth? What filth? What filth did the women have that the men of Zion didn't? And God, do I have any of that filth on me?

I wasn't sure what that "filth" meant, so I looked at the verse it cross-referenced in Isaiah 3:24..."Instead of fragrance there will be a stench; instead of a sash, a rope; instead of fine clothing, sackcloth; instead of beauty, branding." Further research painted a picture of women who were being led away as captives by the enemy and it made me wonder what kinds of things cause us, as women, to become prey to the enemy? I'm sure there are all kinds of things, but in this case, pride, focusing on outward appearance, and enticement seemed to have a lot to do with being led away, captive to the enemy. Things haven't changed much. That's something we, as women, can fall victim to today, as well, if we're not careful. We can easily fall prey to the idea that what makes us attractive is on the outside. We can become prideful in our appearance and want to attract others to us in order to "prove" our worth.

So what makes us attractive and of worth to God? What releases us from that kind of captivity? 1 Samuel 7 tells us, "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

Proverbs 31 tells of the wife of noble character. Verse 31 says "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

Father, teach us to look at what you look at...the heart. Help us to stand in awe of You.

Is the Counseling You Receive or Give Healthy or Unhealthy/Godly or Ungodly?

Healthy/Godly counseling should:

1) teach Godly principles and truths.
2) bring healing.
3) bring restoration.
4) bring deeper relationship with God and others, includung self.
5) bring blessings.
6) bring increase.
7) bring Godly insight, wisdom, and revelation.
8) bring unity in and through Christ Jesus.
9) bring forth the fruit of the Sprit as written in Galatians 5:22 (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control).
10)bring forgiveness.
11)increase faith in God and what He is able to do in spite of our weaknesses.
12)cause us to want to look and act more like Jesus.


Unhealthy/Ungodly counseling:

1) may appear Godly, but teaches ungodly truths and principles.
2) teaches you to take the easy way out when things are uncomfortable for you or are not going according to your plans.
3) teaches that it's okay to place your needs(self) above those of another.
4) encourages someone to think, "It's all my fault" or "It's all their fault" or "I didn't do anything to lead to this".
5) leads to, or increases, discord, dissension, division, withdrawl, separation, bitterness, anger, depression, despair, ungodly sorrow, feelings of rejection, shame, guilt, or unworthiness, etc.
6) causes anyone to fall away from, or be separated from God and His love for them.
7) teaches it's okay to break covenants/commitments to others.
8) exalts man's "wisdom" above God's.
9) does not bring healing, restoration, and/or forgiveness.
10)leads to an action that brings Biblical, generational curses.
11)creates doubt and unbelief in what God can do.
12)leads to, or increases, ungodly, unhealthy behaviors.

Crazy Idea Verified?

Over a year ago I had a dream. In the dream I was shown a root-bound plant in a 4-inch plastic container. The plant, however, was so root-bound that it would soon need to be taken out of its four walls, have its roots broken apart, and placed in bigger, richer ground OR it could stay where it was and risk strangling to death inside its four walls.

Ever since that time I've been thinking about that dream in a spititual sense and what it means... We can spend every Sunday going to church, being spiritually fed, and growing inside the four walls of our church, but there comes a day when you discover that you need to spread your spiritual roots further than the confines of the church's walls. You need to take what you learned, what has fed you, and caused you to grow so well, and take it outside those four walls to bigger ground. To new places.

This dream has made me dream of "a church without walls" and what that means. I see "church" being taken to those places where there isn't church. To places and people that can't, don't, or won't go to church. To people in nursing homes, to shut-ins, to kids hanging out at the park, to homeless people sitting downtown, to people in restaurants and stores...Sharing the "food"--the Bread of Life--that has caused me to grow so much...

This "Crazy Idea" to share Jesus outside the four walls of church doesn't seem so crazy to me anymore. I even find myself doing it. Sharing God's truths with people where I work, praying for people in Lowe's and at Perkins. And I'm now finding others who believe in taking "church" to people outside those sacred walls. They're doing it. They're going into homes to minister. Even to karaoke contests in bars. Isn't that what Jesus did? Share his Father and Himself with those who were lost and hurting? And in places you wouldn't always expect? Isn't that what we should do?

"Crazy Idea" verified.

John 3:34

God brought my attention to John 3:34. John the Baptist is speaking and testifying about Jesus. In this verse he says, "For the one whom God has sent speaks the words of God, for God gives the Spirit without limit."

John was referring to Jesus, but as born-again children and joint heirs with Christ, shouldn't we also have the same "Spirit without limit"? I know the Holy Spirit dwells within me, but I have not as yet seen it "without limit". Why is that? Was that "Spirit without limit" only for Jesus? Something in my spirit says, "No, it should be for us, as well." They experienced it in the first church in the book of Acts. Must God personally send us to speak the words of God? God has already done this through the Great Commission. Are we not experiencing "the Spirit without limit" because we are not speaking the words of God enough? Quite possible. Yet, still, it seems as though there's something more we're not grasping... There are plenty of men and women whom God has called to speak His words, and do just that, but still do not have "the Spirit without limit" that God gives.

Is it a case of "you have not because you ask not"? I don't know. But if that is the case, then, here goes: Father, I ask that You pour out your "Spirit without limit" on all your sons and daughters. We want so much more of You than what we have. We want You without limit. We want so much of You in us that we reflect You inside and out, even down to our DNA. Father, give us your "Spirit without limit" so that people will recognize that it's no longer us, but You who dwells within us. In Jesus' name, amen.

The Heart of a Servant

God keeps leading me to the concept of "the heart of a servant", and I want so much to follow. God, teach me what it is that You want me to know. Give me a servant heart. I want to serve You.

Crazy Idea

Okay...So I have this crazy idea/dream that keeps circulating around inside my head and my heart. Okay, maybe it's not crazy to God, but it's crazy for me to imagine myself doing something so outside my comfort zone. Would you pray with me that if this idea is a "God Thing" that He'll place a burning desire in me to do more than just let it roll around in my heart and head? And that He will somehow verify it for me? Thanks.

Abraham's Servant

There's a story in Genesis 24 which God has me returning to again and again. It's the story of Abraham sending his servant out to Abraham's own country and his own people to find a bride for his son, Isaac. Abraham told his servant that the Lord, the God of heaven, who made an oath with him, would send his angel before the servant so that he could get a wife from there. The servant left taking with him all kinds of good things from his master in order to woo a bride for Isaac. The servant prayed to God for success in finding this bride and was led directly to Rebekah, the woman who would become Isaac's bride.

Abraham used to be "Abram" until God (Yahweh) came along and made a covenant with him. Someone once told me that in Biblical times, when a covenant was made, the two parties would take part of the other person's name and insert it into their name. Their new name, then, became a constant reminder to them that they were in a covenant relationship with this other person. This seems to be the case with Abram. A part of God (the A-H in Yahweh) became part of Abraham.

I believe this story is for us today. I believe that we, as believers in Christ, are like Abraham's servant. God has called us to go forth and find a Bride for His own son, Jesus. God gives us all kinds of good gifts to "woo" the Bride for Christ. I can't say for certain, but I believe He even sends his angel out before us in order to direct us to the right person. I think that, as this servant, I need to be spending more time in prayer asking for God's favor in leading me to those whom He has chosen for His Son's Bride. Maybe He will grant me success as well.

Make Me Bigger on the Inside

Have you ever had God open your eyes to areas in which you were blind before? God has been doing that for me. In several areas. Sometimes it's exhausting work. Necessary, but exhausting. As God continues to chip away at those things, all I can pray is, "Make me bigger on the inside. Less of me means more room for You."

Getting Rid Of Leaven

Last night, my husband and I were invited by friends to attend a Seder meal at our church. For those of you who don't know, the Seder Service is a celebration of Passover. The Israelites had been held in bondage by the Egyptians for 400 years and God miraculously saved and delivered them from Pharoah and the Egyptians through the works of His mighty outstretched arm, which included ten plagues, the last of which was the slaying of the firstborn. Before unleashing the final plague, God instructed the Israelites to sacrifice a lamb without spot or blemish, and mark the sides and tops of their doorframes of the houses where they ate the lambs. That night, God passed through Egypt and struck down every firstborn son of both men and animals, but passed over those houses where He saw the blood of the sacrificed lambs.

Passover is a celebration of God "passing over" the children of Israel, who obeyed what God told them to do, sparing their firstborn sons from death. It is immediately followed by The Feast of Unleavened Bread, which is celebrated for seven days to commemorate God's bringing the Israelites out of generations of bondage.

In preparation for both Passover and the Feast of Unleavened Bread all yeast and leaven must be totally removed from the home and are not to be eaten for seven days. Exodus 12:14-15 says, "This is a day you are to commemorate; for the generations to come celebrate it as a festival to the Lord - a lasting ordinance. For seven days you are to eat bread made without yeast. On the first day remove the yeast from your houses, for whoever eats anything with yeast in it from the first day through the seventh must be cut off from Israel. In 1 Corinthians 5:7-8, the Apostle Paul (who was also a rabbi) tells us, "Get rid of the old yeast that you may be a new batch without yeast - as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. Therefore let us keep the Festival, not with the old yeast of malice and wickedness, but with bread without yeast, the bread of sincerity and truth." Yeast and leaven are representative of malice and wickedness - sin in our lives. Bread without yeast is representative of sinlessness, sincerity and truth; the Bread of Life come down from heaven - Jesus Christ, whose sacrificial blood poured out on the doorframe of our spiritual house, causes God to pass over us, delivering us from death and bondage.

Why am I telling you something you probably already know? To make you think. Is Passover and the Feast of Unleavened Bread something you celebrate? Up until this year, I have never taken seriously God's direction to literally do what His Word says to do prior to Passover, namely remove the yeast/leaven from our home and not to eat of it for seven days. This morning God put it in my heart to do that, even though Passover was last night. I shared with my husband and daughter what I was planning to do. The responses were not happy ones. We had just gotten groceries and spent some of the money on loaves of bread, crescent rolls, etc. That would be money down the drain, not to mention the fact that we would be getting rid of something that we enjoy eating. The first thought was to give those things away so they and the money spent on them would not be wasted. However, the point in removing the leaven from our house is to remove physically that which is representative of the spiritual. Removing sin, even the hint of it, from our spiritual "house", the place where God's Holy Spirit resides. Giving away something that contains leaven, although sounding nice, is not something I will be doing. I do not want to give something representaive of sin to someone else, no matter how much money I end up throwing out with the trash. That's all sin is anyway. Trash. And by removing everything containing yeast, baking soda, and baking powder (representative of sin), it requires a concentrated effort to actually disobey God and partake of those things that are considered "sin". Not something I want, either for myself or those in my household.

Passover and the Feast of Unleavened Bread gives me a chance to meditate on the sin in my life. Sin that has been physically and spiritually removed and sin (leaven) that I may have missed while "cleaning house". It gives me a chance to think about the time when the Feast of Unleavened Bread is over and those items may once again be brought back into the house. Will I be more mindful of the leaven/sin I am bringing into my spiritual house (I hope so)? It gives me a chance to remember areas of bondage in my life that God has brought me out of and to meditate on areas where I may still need to be delivered. It gives me a chance to celebrate all that God, through the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus, has done for me: My sins have been forgiven through the blood of the Lamb, death has passed over me, I have been brought out of bondage, and now I can celebrate life! God's way of life!

No Longer a Grasshopper

This past week at School of the Word we were discussing how sometimes things happen to you. You believe God was leading you in a certain direction, but for whatever reason, you don't obtain the thing that you felt God was leading you toward. You may, or may not, understand why the thing didn't happen. You may be deeply disappointed or hurt because it DIDN'T happen, but there comes a time when you just need to "get over it".

Consider the Israelites...They wandered in the desert, led by Moses, but protected and cared for by God through the mighty miracles He performed on their behalf. He was leading them out of bondage (and a victim mindset) to a land flowing with milk and honey. In spite of all the miracles God performed, the children of Israel complained much and were fearful for their well-being. They didn't seem to grasp at times that the Creator of the Universe went with them and was on their side.

When the Israelites were camped out in the Desert of Paran, God directed Moses to send a leader from each of the twelve tribes to explore the land of Canaan, which God was GIVING to them. After 40 days the leaders returned to give account of what they had found. They discovered that indeed it WAS a land of abundance. A land with pools and streams of water. A land where there was wheat and barley,olive oil and honey, grapes, pomegranates and figs. Where iron and copper were abundant. The people would lack nothing. The people who lived in the land, however,were powerful; some were giants. Their cities were large and fortified, with "walls reaching the sky".

Caleb and Joshua were highly excited by what they saw! They remembered the miracles that God had performed and the people groups that God had helped the Israelites subdue and overcome. Caleb declared, "We SHOULD go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it."

The other ten leaders were of a different mindset. They spread a bad report among the Israelites saying, "We can't attack those people; they are stronger than we are...The land we explored devours those living in it. All the people we saw there are of great size. We saw the Nephillim there (the descendants of Anak come from the Nephillim). We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them."

The Israelites became disheartened and fearful. Their belief and trust in God seemed to disappear in a puff of smoke. They rebelled against what God had commanded them to do. Their fear of man suddenly became bigger than their (holy) fear of God. They resorted to what was comfortable and familiar to them: the victim (slave) mindset;to complaining and grumbling. They didn't want to fight for the "something better" that God wanted to GIVE them. They would rather be grasshoppers than the strong and courageous people that God was calling them to be. So, God sent them back into the desert for forty years to humble the Israelites, to test them, to know what was really in their hearts. He made them a people dependent on Him.

Fast forward forty years...Once again, God has brought the Israelites to the border of the land flowing with milk and honey. They are standing at the Jordan River. They are now a people humble before God. They are still a stiff-necked people, but they now realize that it is GOD who fights their battles for them. God who sends their enemies fleeing in terror before them. God who provides for all their needs. It is not their own righteousness or strength that will cause them to possess the land before them. It is because the people of the land were wicked and God wanted to drive them out in order to uphold the oath that HE swore to their fathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. They were no longer grasshoppers. They were ready to be strong and courageous because that's what God was calling them to be. They now knew that God would destroy their enemies just as He promised.

We, as Christians, are often like the Israelites. God calls us to something bigger than ourselves. Something outside our comfort zone; to something outside our box. He leads us right up to the edge of where he wants us to go...waiting for us to make the next move and step out in faith on His behalf just so that He can prove Himself faithful. We suddenly forget who we are in Christ and immediately fall back into our old mindsets; into the mindsets of captives. We become like those grasshoppers: edgy; nervous; ready to jump at the first sign of danger.

God has not called us to the mindset of a captive. He has brought us out of our own Egypts - out of our own slavery and bondage to sin - and is leading us to our own Promised Land flowing with milk and honey; to our own place of abundance in Him. It is not through our own strength or righteousness that we obtain this, but through what God has done for us in Christ Jesus. God is calling us to be strong and courageous. He has led us to the edge of the Jordan and He is now waiting for us to step out in faith - to "get over" those boundaries that are keeping us from the something "bigger and better" that God has for us. He wants to prove Himself faithful. He wants us to develop an "if-God-is-for-me-who-can-be-against-me" mindset. Strong and courageous. No longer a grasshopper.

Funny, I Didn't HEAR Any Gunfire...

Last evening I went to see and hear my (step)brother-in-law, Dan Mohler, preach. Even though God has been using Dan to preach the Gospel for several years now, this was the first time I have witnessed Dan in action.

The Dan I am accustomed to is soft-spoken, gentle, kind, has a sense of humor, loves nature, and does not draw attention to himself. Last night I saw Dan as a bold man of God, who wields the truth of the Gospel like no other I've ever seen or heard.

God's Word and the truth of the Gospel is so familiar to Dan that he is able to shoot the love of God out of his mouth so rapid-fire that I feel like an automatic assault rifle just left me laying in the dust, looking up at God and thinking, "Funny, I didn't hear any gunfire... God, I'm not even sure what just hit me, but I think I'll just lay here and think about what was fired at me until I can recover enough to stand in the truth of that Word."

I've never been hit with the love and truth of God's Word like that before. I don't know how long it will take till I am strong enough to be declared "healed", but when I am healed, I want to run back into the line of fire.

Flimsy Little Locks

Last night after Gerry's Outreach and Evangelism class, I was thinking about what was mentioned in class and (again) contemplating why I have not yet had success in birthing a new soul into the kingdom of heaven. A common underlying thread of all the speakers we have had in class, either mentioned directly or indirectly, was the need to build relationship with the person you are ministering to. Relationship between you and that person and relationship between that person and God.

The building of close personal relationships is something that does not come easily to me. Growing up there were many times that I felt steam-rollered by people who were supposed to love me. I find it difficult to open myself up completely and deeply because I just don't want to risk being flattened and broken like that again.

I had a dream last night that repeated itself three or four times before I woke up enough to realize that maybe God was trying to tell me something. There was a room with three doors leading into it. Each door had a flimsy little (eye hook) lock at the top that I felt compelled to lock so people wouldn't come in (okay, it was the bathroom and I was trying to avoid the visual). I believe (as silly as it may sound to some) that God was trying to tell me that there are areas where I am still afraid to go because I don't want to risk exposing myself to others. There are doors in my life that I keep locked so people can't get in. I believe that in showing this to me (repeatedly), God was inviting me to examine what areas are still locked up inside me. I believe one of those areas is in developing deeper relationships. I also believe that God wants me to unlock those doors and not be so concerned if someone happens to come in. Since they were flimsy little locks to begin with, they were meant to be opened easily or easily broken down by someone on the outside wanting in.

God, I'm not sure where the other two doors lead that I'm afraid to unlock, but I'd like for you to show me. Help me to stretch myself high enough to unlock them and not to be afraid of what that might mean. And Father? If I can't quite reach the locks on my own, please feel free to kick the doors down so that I can come out.

This feels like I'm still trying to get out of my box.

"Give me children, or I'll die!"

Between a vision that I believe is from God, reading "The Soulwinner" by Charles Spurgeon, the Outreach and Evangelism class I'm taking, and praying "dangerous little prayers", God is doing something in me that I don't quite know how to take. I find myself physically aching deep inside for certain people, who I know are not saved. I begin to pray for them and then find myself weeping uncontrollably from out of that ache. Lately, I find myself with the same physical and spiritual ache ( I have it now) when I think about the number of people I've led to the Lord (None. Zero. Nada. Zilch. Zip.). It hurts to know that I have been unsuccessful in doing something that Jesus tells us to do. I want to be able to please God in this way and know a party is breaking out in heaven because another lost sheep has been found. I want to do this for God because I don't take lightly the blood Jesus shed for me and for others. I want Jesus to know that what He did was worth every drop of blood He shed, every shred of skin and muscle He lost to the soldier's whip, every bit of suffering He endured for our sake.

I'm not exactly sure why I haven't connected yet in this way. I talk to people about God. I invite people to church, they seem interested in coming, but fail to come. Maybe I'm trying to do it too much in my own power. Maybe the people I have been trying to find common ground with and plant seeds in don't think they need Jesus. Maybe I haven't prayed and labored over them enough yet. Maybe there's another reason.

All I know is that I feel barren. Jesus is my Beloved and I am His, yet I remain barren of spiritual children. This is something that I cannot do on my own. There is an ache and a longing deep within me to have my Beloved partner with me and see spiritual children birthed. I feel like Rachel. Barren. Unfruitful. Less. Everything within me cries out, "Give me children, or I'll die!" Give me children.

Don't Bend Over in the Garden, Them Taters Have Eyes!

(I know, I know...You're thinking, "Surely she has lost it." Yes, probably so, but it got your attention, didn't it?)



This title isn't about gardening. It's about being mindful, as followers of Christ, of what we "show" to the world around us. It's about guarding ourselves and being watchful of how and what we present to the world. It's about keeping safe that which God deposited in our hearts and mindful about what crosses our lips ( "For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks"- Matthew 12:34 and Luke 6:45 - NIV). It's about being attentive to how we behave and act. In private and in public.



In Luke 12: 1-3 it says, "Meanwhile, when a crowd of many thousands had gathered, so that they were trampling on one another, Jesus began to speak first to his disciples, saying:'Be on guard against the yeast of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy. There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs.' "



Not only do those "taters" have eyes, they apparently have big ears. We may think that no one besides God is mindful of what we are saying and doing, but that is not so. The eyes and ears of the world are tuned in to us. As believers in Christ we have an awesome responsibility to not just represent Christ, but to re-present Him. We are His body. Our hearts should beat for Him. Our minds should think the way Christ's does. Our hearts should be filled with His love and compassion. Our eyes should see supernaturally --beyond what our natural eyes can see on the surface. Our ears should hear His voice. Our hands should reach out to those around us as His did. Our feet should willingly follow where He leads us. Our voices should speak His truth and His word. We are to be His unified body, speaking and acting as Christ. Re-presenting Him to the world around us.



Will we ever be able to perfectly re-present Christ? No, of course not. There was only one perfect Christ and we're not Him. We can only strive to reach that goal. We can only do our best, using the gifts and talents that God has given to each one of us, and relying on God for the rest. How can we best re-present Christ? Here is a list to help you get started:



1) Seek the will of God through daily Bible reading and prayer. What is important to God and already exists in heaven are the very same things that are important to Christ. They should also be important to you. Make them part of who you are. Develop the mind of Christ in you.



2) Discover your God-given gifts and talents. Read Romans 12 and 1 Corinthisans, chapters 12, 13, and 14 to see if you have any of the gifts and talents mentioned there. Ask God to show you where you are gifted and how you can use those gifts to better serve Him.



3) Build intimacy with Christ. As you walk day after day with Jesus, you become a more credible witness of Christ to those around you. You have heard it said that when two people are married for an incredibley long time that they begin to look and act like their spouse...The same is true of us. The more intimate our relationship with Christ, the more we begin to look, speak, and act like Him. We better reflect Jesus when we spend more time in His presence.

4) Follow Jesus' example. Jesus led his disciples by the examples He set for them. What they did in reaching others for Christ, they learned from Jesus himself. Jesus told his disciples, "Follow me". We can do the same by following the examples Jesus set.

5) Go! At the end of the book of Matthew, Jesus tells the disciples, "All authority in heaven and on earth have been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." We cannot win the prize of Christ if we are not willing to get up and take that first step forward.

So, what are you waiting for? Get up and go. Step out into the harvest field...just remember, "them taters have eyes!"

Forgive Me

After Jesus was crucified and was hanging on the cross, dying for the sins of the world (mine and yours), he said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."(Luke 23: 34 The NIV Study Bible).

Many of my own "forgive me" moments have come as a result of bitterness and anger that snowball to the point that make it difficult for me to forgive. They quietly build under the surface. Sometimes I'm aware they are there, and sometimes I'm oblivious to the fact that something dark and treacherous is hidden beneath the surface. Unaware...until I slip, trip, or fall headlong through the surface that has kept those feelings hidden. I then find myself up to my neck in bitterness and anger, struggling desperately to lay hold of forgiveness that seems just outside of my reach. Sometimes I don't even struggle. Sometimes I just allow the anger and unforgiveness to wash over me and I drown in it. Certain death.

Christ's dying on the cross for the forgiveness of my sins (every single one of them...and there have been many) serves as a life line. It draws me up out of the abyss I sometimes find myself in and offers me hope. Hope and a belief that I might live. A life line that shortens the distance between the One who offers it and the one who will receive it; gradually pulling them to solid ground and into the arms of the One who has labored for their life.

Father...Thank you for Your great compassion for all Your people. Thank you for a love that was willing to offer up the life of Your Ownly Begotten Son to serve as a life line to those of us who were drowning in our sin in order that we might live. Father, forgive me for those times when I have been aware of my sin and done nothing. Forgive me for those times when I have been unaware and fallen headlong into it and then risked drowning in it. Thank you for loving me enough that You never gave up on me. Thank you for pulling me in closer.
Forever grateful,
Elizabeth