Last night after Gerry's Outreach and Evangelism class, I was thinking about what was mentioned in class and (again) contemplating why I have not yet had success in birthing a new soul into the kingdom of heaven. A common underlying thread of all the speakers we have had in class, either mentioned directly or indirectly, was the need to build relationship with the person you are ministering to. Relationship between you and that person and relationship between that person and God.
The building of close personal relationships is something that does not come easily to me. Growing up there were many times that I felt steam-rollered by people who were supposed to love me. I find it difficult to open myself up completely and deeply because I just don't want to risk being flattened and broken like that again.
I had a dream last night that repeated itself three or four times before I woke up enough to realize that maybe God was trying to tell me something. There was a room with three doors leading into it. Each door had a flimsy little (eye hook) lock at the top that I felt compelled to lock so people wouldn't come in (okay, it was the bathroom and I was trying to avoid the visual). I believe (as silly as it may sound to some) that God was trying to tell me that there are areas where I am still afraid to go because I don't want to risk exposing myself to others. There are doors in my life that I keep locked so people can't get in. I believe that in showing this to me (repeatedly), God was inviting me to examine what areas are still locked up inside me. I believe one of those areas is in developing deeper relationships. I also believe that God wants me to unlock those doors and not be so concerned if someone happens to come in. Since they were flimsy little locks to begin with, they were meant to be opened easily or easily broken down by someone on the outside wanting in.
God, I'm not sure where the other two doors lead that I'm afraid to unlock, but I'd like for you to show me. Help me to stretch myself high enough to unlock them and not to be afraid of what that might mean. And Father? If I can't quite reach the locks on my own, please feel free to kick the doors down so that I can come out.
This feels like I'm still trying to get out of my box.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
"Give me children, or I'll die!"
Between a vision that I believe is from God, reading "The Soulwinner" by Charles Spurgeon, the Outreach and Evangelism class I'm taking, and praying "dangerous little prayers", God is doing something in me that I don't quite know how to take. I find myself physically aching deep inside for certain people, who I know are not saved. I begin to pray for them and then find myself weeping uncontrollably from out of that ache. Lately, I find myself with the same physical and spiritual ache ( I have it now) when I think about the number of people I've led to the Lord (None. Zero. Nada. Zilch. Zip.). It hurts to know that I have been unsuccessful in doing something that Jesus tells us to do. I want to be able to please God in this way and know a party is breaking out in heaven because another lost sheep has been found. I want to do this for God because I don't take lightly the blood Jesus shed for me and for others. I want Jesus to know that what He did was worth every drop of blood He shed, every shred of skin and muscle He lost to the soldier's whip, every bit of suffering He endured for our sake.
I'm not exactly sure why I haven't connected yet in this way. I talk to people about God. I invite people to church, they seem interested in coming, but fail to come. Maybe I'm trying to do it too much in my own power. Maybe the people I have been trying to find common ground with and plant seeds in don't think they need Jesus. Maybe I haven't prayed and labored over them enough yet. Maybe there's another reason.
All I know is that I feel barren. Jesus is my Beloved and I am His, yet I remain barren of spiritual children. This is something that I cannot do on my own. There is an ache and a longing deep within me to have my Beloved partner with me and see spiritual children birthed. I feel like Rachel. Barren. Unfruitful. Less. Everything within me cries out, "Give me children, or I'll die!" Give me children.
I'm not exactly sure why I haven't connected yet in this way. I talk to people about God. I invite people to church, they seem interested in coming, but fail to come. Maybe I'm trying to do it too much in my own power. Maybe the people I have been trying to find common ground with and plant seeds in don't think they need Jesus. Maybe I haven't prayed and labored over them enough yet. Maybe there's another reason.
All I know is that I feel barren. Jesus is my Beloved and I am His, yet I remain barren of spiritual children. This is something that I cannot do on my own. There is an ache and a longing deep within me to have my Beloved partner with me and see spiritual children birthed. I feel like Rachel. Barren. Unfruitful. Less. Everything within me cries out, "Give me children, or I'll die!" Give me children.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Don't Bend Over in the Garden, Them Taters Have Eyes!
(I know, I know...You're thinking, "Surely she has lost it." Yes, probably so, but it got your attention, didn't it?)
This title isn't about gardening. It's about being mindful, as followers of Christ, of what we "show" to the world around us. It's about guarding ourselves and being watchful of how and what we present to the world. It's about keeping safe that which God deposited in our hearts and mindful about what crosses our lips ( "For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks"- Matthew 12:34 and Luke 6:45 - NIV). It's about being attentive to how we behave and act. In private and in public.
In Luke 12: 1-3 it says, "Meanwhile, when a crowd of many thousands had gathered, so that they were trampling on one another, Jesus began to speak first to his disciples, saying:'Be on guard against the yeast of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy. There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs.' "
Not only do those "taters" have eyes, they apparently have big ears. We may think that no one besides God is mindful of what we are saying and doing, but that is not so. The eyes and ears of the world are tuned in to us. As believers in Christ we have an awesome responsibility to not just represent Christ, but to re-present Him. We are His body. Our hearts should beat for Him. Our minds should think the way Christ's does. Our hearts should be filled with His love and compassion. Our eyes should see supernaturally --beyond what our natural eyes can see on the surface. Our ears should hear His voice. Our hands should reach out to those around us as His did. Our feet should willingly follow where He leads us. Our voices should speak His truth and His word. We are to be His unified body, speaking and acting as Christ. Re-presenting Him to the world around us.
Will we ever be able to perfectly re-present Christ? No, of course not. There was only one perfect Christ and we're not Him. We can only strive to reach that goal. We can only do our best, using the gifts and talents that God has given to each one of us, and relying on God for the rest. How can we best re-present Christ? Here is a list to help you get started:
1) Seek the will of God through daily Bible reading and prayer. What is important to God and already exists in heaven are the very same things that are important to Christ. They should also be important to you. Make them part of who you are. Develop the mind of Christ in you.
2) Discover your God-given gifts and talents. Read Romans 12 and 1 Corinthisans, chapters 12, 13, and 14 to see if you have any of the gifts and talents mentioned there. Ask God to show you where you are gifted and how you can use those gifts to better serve Him.
3) Build intimacy with Christ. As you walk day after day with Jesus, you become a more credible witness of Christ to those around you. You have heard it said that when two people are married for an incredibley long time that they begin to look and act like their spouse...The same is true of us. The more intimate our relationship with Christ, the more we begin to look, speak, and act like Him. We better reflect Jesus when we spend more time in His presence.
4) Follow Jesus' example. Jesus led his disciples by the examples He set for them. What they did in reaching others for Christ, they learned from Jesus himself. Jesus told his disciples, "Follow me". We can do the same by following the examples Jesus set.
5) Go! At the end of the book of Matthew, Jesus tells the disciples, "All authority in heaven and on earth have been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." We cannot win the prize of Christ if we are not willing to get up and take that first step forward.
So, what are you waiting for? Get up and go. Step out into the harvest field...just remember, "them taters have eyes!"
This title isn't about gardening. It's about being mindful, as followers of Christ, of what we "show" to the world around us. It's about guarding ourselves and being watchful of how and what we present to the world. It's about keeping safe that which God deposited in our hearts and mindful about what crosses our lips ( "For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks"- Matthew 12:34 and Luke 6:45 - NIV). It's about being attentive to how we behave and act. In private and in public.
In Luke 12: 1-3 it says, "Meanwhile, when a crowd of many thousands had gathered, so that they were trampling on one another, Jesus began to speak first to his disciples, saying:'Be on guard against the yeast of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy. There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs.' "
Not only do those "taters" have eyes, they apparently have big ears. We may think that no one besides God is mindful of what we are saying and doing, but that is not so. The eyes and ears of the world are tuned in to us. As believers in Christ we have an awesome responsibility to not just represent Christ, but to re-present Him. We are His body. Our hearts should beat for Him. Our minds should think the way Christ's does. Our hearts should be filled with His love and compassion. Our eyes should see supernaturally --beyond what our natural eyes can see on the surface. Our ears should hear His voice. Our hands should reach out to those around us as His did. Our feet should willingly follow where He leads us. Our voices should speak His truth and His word. We are to be His unified body, speaking and acting as Christ. Re-presenting Him to the world around us.
Will we ever be able to perfectly re-present Christ? No, of course not. There was only one perfect Christ and we're not Him. We can only strive to reach that goal. We can only do our best, using the gifts and talents that God has given to each one of us, and relying on God for the rest. How can we best re-present Christ? Here is a list to help you get started:
1) Seek the will of God through daily Bible reading and prayer. What is important to God and already exists in heaven are the very same things that are important to Christ. They should also be important to you. Make them part of who you are. Develop the mind of Christ in you.
2) Discover your God-given gifts and talents. Read Romans 12 and 1 Corinthisans, chapters 12, 13, and 14 to see if you have any of the gifts and talents mentioned there. Ask God to show you where you are gifted and how you can use those gifts to better serve Him.
3) Build intimacy with Christ. As you walk day after day with Jesus, you become a more credible witness of Christ to those around you. You have heard it said that when two people are married for an incredibley long time that they begin to look and act like their spouse...The same is true of us. The more intimate our relationship with Christ, the more we begin to look, speak, and act like Him. We better reflect Jesus when we spend more time in His presence.
4) Follow Jesus' example. Jesus led his disciples by the examples He set for them. What they did in reaching others for Christ, they learned from Jesus himself. Jesus told his disciples, "Follow me". We can do the same by following the examples Jesus set.
5) Go! At the end of the book of Matthew, Jesus tells the disciples, "All authority in heaven and on earth have been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." We cannot win the prize of Christ if we are not willing to get up and take that first step forward.
So, what are you waiting for? Get up and go. Step out into the harvest field...just remember, "them taters have eyes!"
Friday, January 2, 2009
Forgive Me
After Jesus was crucified and was hanging on the cross, dying for the sins of the world (mine and yours), he said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."(Luke 23: 34 The NIV Study Bible).
Many of my own "forgive me" moments have come as a result of bitterness and anger that snowball to the point that make it difficult for me to forgive. They quietly build under the surface. Sometimes I'm aware they are there, and sometimes I'm oblivious to the fact that something dark and treacherous is hidden beneath the surface. Unaware...until I slip, trip, or fall headlong through the surface that has kept those feelings hidden. I then find myself up to my neck in bitterness and anger, struggling desperately to lay hold of forgiveness that seems just outside of my reach. Sometimes I don't even struggle. Sometimes I just allow the anger and unforgiveness to wash over me and I drown in it. Certain death.
Christ's dying on the cross for the forgiveness of my sins (every single one of them...and there have been many) serves as a life line. It draws me up out of the abyss I sometimes find myself in and offers me hope. Hope and a belief that I might live. A life line that shortens the distance between the One who offers it and the one who will receive it; gradually pulling them to solid ground and into the arms of the One who has labored for their life.
Father...Thank you for Your great compassion for all Your people. Thank you for a love that was willing to offer up the life of Your Ownly Begotten Son to serve as a life line to those of us who were drowning in our sin in order that we might live. Father, forgive me for those times when I have been aware of my sin and done nothing. Forgive me for those times when I have been unaware and fallen headlong into it and then risked drowning in it. Thank you for loving me enough that You never gave up on me. Thank you for pulling me in closer.
Forever grateful,
Elizabeth
Many of my own "forgive me" moments have come as a result of bitterness and anger that snowball to the point that make it difficult for me to forgive. They quietly build under the surface. Sometimes I'm aware they are there, and sometimes I'm oblivious to the fact that something dark and treacherous is hidden beneath the surface. Unaware...until I slip, trip, or fall headlong through the surface that has kept those feelings hidden. I then find myself up to my neck in bitterness and anger, struggling desperately to lay hold of forgiveness that seems just outside of my reach. Sometimes I don't even struggle. Sometimes I just allow the anger and unforgiveness to wash over me and I drown in it. Certain death.
Christ's dying on the cross for the forgiveness of my sins (every single one of them...and there have been many) serves as a life line. It draws me up out of the abyss I sometimes find myself in and offers me hope. Hope and a belief that I might live. A life line that shortens the distance between the One who offers it and the one who will receive it; gradually pulling them to solid ground and into the arms of the One who has labored for their life.
Father...Thank you for Your great compassion for all Your people. Thank you for a love that was willing to offer up the life of Your Ownly Begotten Son to serve as a life line to those of us who were drowning in our sin in order that we might live. Father, forgive me for those times when I have been aware of my sin and done nothing. Forgive me for those times when I have been unaware and fallen headlong into it and then risked drowning in it. Thank you for loving me enough that You never gave up on me. Thank you for pulling me in closer.
Forever grateful,
Elizabeth
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