Shaken

My mother-in-law is dead. Another friend has died and his wife is trying to cope and pick up the pieces of her life. Another young man lays broken in the hospital in an induced coma after being hit by a drunk driver. A five year old boy in the hospital struggles to breathe as the doctors and nurses fight in the physical realm for his life and a group of prayer warriors contend for him in the spiritual realm. We contend as well for the life and body of our friend hit by the drunk driver.

This has been a week of shaking. Not just for me, but for a lot of people. The shaking has been a physical and emotional one, but I, personally, also feel a spiritual shaking. I can't quite put a finger on what has been spiritually shaken loose, but something was present within me that I could feel physically. I knew that whatever it was, it stood as a barrier between me and God. God has shaken it loose and it is no longer there and I am no longer the same person I was last week or even a few days ago.

God is up to something.

"Here I Am"

Sometimes God uses everyday moments to speak to us. Such was the case for me last night after our church service. In our church there is a shared wall between the church's lobby and the sanctuary. In that wall there is a dark-colored window. If you are in the sanctuary, you can see what's going on out in the lobby; but, if you are in the lobby, you can't easily see what's going on in the sanctuary. It's similar to a two-way mirror, except there is no mirror.

Last night after the service, my (almost) five year old grandson was standing on a chair in the sanctuary, looking through the glass at his dad, our son; step-mom, Teresa; and his baby sister. He was knocking on the glass and calling out, "Daddy! Teresa! Here I am!" He didn't understand that they didn't know he was there. From where they were, they couldn't see or hear him. Something caught at my heart and I had to go to them to let them know that Gabe was there, on the other side of the glass window, trying to get their attention. In the few seconds it took me to get out to the lobby, my son, daughter-in-law, and granddaughter were walking away from the window where Gabe could see them. Because Gabe could no longer see them, he came out behind me into the lobby. He wanted to be with his family.

God took that moment to show me something...God also stands in a place where He can see us, but we don't always know He's there. He knocks and knocks and calls us by name because He wants us to know that He is there. And God WANTS something to catch in our hearts so that we are moved to go tell those that don't know He's there that He is; that He wants their attention. He wants us to look and see Him. He desires to be with us because He loves us. And, if we can't see or hear Him, sometimes He comes to us.

"I'm Not Done Yet"

Many of you who know me, also know that my mother-in-law is dying. My husband, an only child, got a phone call from his cousin day before yesterday saying he should come NOW! He flew out this morning in order to try to be with his mom before she passed away.

As I was sitting at the breakfast table yesterday morning contemplating all of this new information, my brain went into a tailspin. I was thinking about what I would need to do in order to get my husband to the airport; get tickets for myself and our kids for a later flight; all the last minute things you need to do when something like this happens; all the wonderful things I loved about this woman who was a mom to me, a friend, a confidante, an encourager, a teacher, and so much more...when the Holy Spirit broke into my thoughts and said, "I'm not done yet". As usual, my response was, "What (as in, "Is that you, God")"? Again, I heard, "I'm not done yet".

I'm not exactly sure yet what that means, but I will take God at His word. When we feel as though our prayers have not been answered, God is not done yet. When we have done all that we can do, God is not done yet. When the outcome seems inevitable, God is not done yet. When we have given up on someone, God is not done yet. When our situation seems hopeless, God is not done yet. When we have no hope left, God is not done yet. When death is near, God is not done yet. GOD IS NOT DONE YET.

Immanuel

As I was laying in bed this morning, trying not to wake my husband, my heart became suddenly very heavy. It was very heavy for friends who are battling the husband's Stage IV cancer. They're both so weary from fighting the good fight. The husband wants so much to be well and serve the Lord. His wife is doing everything she can to find her husband the help he needs. Both are exhausted through and through and neither is willing to give up. They both so badly need Jesus to lift this yoke from off their shoulders and carry their burdens for them; to heal them.

My heart was heavy for a daughter who has wounds so deep inside that no one seems able to touch them. Wounds that are not physical, but are still there nonetheless and are killing her. Wounds that only Jesus can touch and heal.

My heart was heavy for a mother-in-law fighting for her own life, who has health issues that are causing physical wounds that will not heal. The doctors say there is nothing more that they can do and that she will die. She, too, needs a miracle from God.

My heart was heavy for a world that is crying out. A world that is lost and dying and doesn't know which way to turn. A world that turns their back on Jesus because they believe the notion of God is "ridiculous".

All of them (all of us) need Jesus. Immanuel. God with us. God in the room with us. God right beside us. God in us. God to touch us. God to comfort us. God to guide us. God to heal us. God to love us. Life.